people always talk about the extreme no homo mentality in guys sports teams but don’t talk about the severe lesphobia in girls sports teams. growing up playing team sports really fucked me up as a kid. straight girls i’ve played with were always scared of being perceived as gay for being athletic and because of the stereotypes of lesbians in certain sports. this was universal in the 3 sports i played: volleyball, softball, and basketball.
there were always strict unwritten rules about how you presented yourself while playing. for instance the ribbon in the hair for softball and a bow in your ponytail for volleyball. if you didn’t prove your femininity while playing you were a lesbian. there was so much effort in not being seen as a lesbian and proving that you /weren’t/ a lesbian was really important.
girls would always talk shit about girls with short hair on opposing teams. “we’re playing the team with the d*ke” was something i heard often as a kid. something i still heard in high school. being a lesbian in girls sports teams is predominantly what made me feel trapped in the closet in high school. I only felt comfortable coming out after i quit sports altogether
so if we could stop acting like straight girls have less of a stake in homophobia that’d be great
i know this is a controvershell opinion because y’all really take slur reclaimation seriously on this site lol but there’s a reason why lesbians aren’t comfortable with bi/pan women claiming dyke. the word will always be associated with lesbianism. dyke is not just a slur directed at women who love women; it attacks women based on how their sexuality relates to men. since men are not acknowledged by lesbians the word dyke is used against us to highlight that we “hate men” and not because we love women. since we live in a male centered universe, sexuality is always gonna be defined by the role of men. and that concept applies to derogatory language. anyways, dyke itself has become its own lesbian term. lesbians may often identify simply as dyke to reaffirm how disconnected they are from men. so in a way calling yourself a dyke means you are also recognizing yourself as a lesbian. but if you aren’t a lesbian why would you want to identify with a term that associates you with lesbians? there’s no point being secure in your sexuality everyday but also calling yourself a term that would erase it. you can’t have it both ways. so it’s like do you want to claim dyke because you see yourself as a lesbian? or is it because you just want access to a slur since you feel entitled to it? and that’s why lesbians might often feel some type of way about this shit. and i know there’s some concern that not being able to say dyke somehow aligns you with straight people but that’s definitely not the case
uh as a pan person who has been called “dyke” many many times because of my attraction to women i don’t think it’s fair of you to be saying it’s a lesbian only term and only lesbians can use it considering that many pan/bi people are called dyke
its actually incredibly bold of you to assume that only lesbians are called that therefore they are the only ones allowed to reclaim it and that straight people actually care about the difference between gay/bi/pan women when throwing slurs around
why do you think it’s ok to tell bi/pan women that they’re not allowed to reclaim a slur that is used against them on a regular basis??
it’s not a matter of who gets called the slur it’s a matter of what the slur means
dyke means lesbian. when a bi/pan woman gets called a dyke they are being called a lesbian, as an insult. reclaiming the word dyke changes it from an insult to a badge of pride. how is a bi/pan woman going to wear lesbianism as a badge of pride?
Listen. I’ve been on this site for a long time. I was around back when the LGBT community majority here was was a complete shit show of basically ace and pan are the only valid orientations, otherwise you’re a regressive bigot.
Do you have any fucking idea how harmful it is to be a young teenager and see things like “hearts not parts”, “pan people see past gender!” and “pan people love people for their heart!”? Do you know how hurtful it is to be struggling with whether or not you like men and see plastered everywhere that only pan people love people for who they are? That lesbians and gay men are only interested in people for their genitals? And to see this paraded around as progressive and right?
It’s incredibly fucked up. It fucked me up so much. To think that if I didn’t allow men to be a part of my life I was an awful person. To think that it was transphobic to be a lesbian or a gay man, because those identities were only interested in gender.
You can’t just excuse people saying these things with “oh they didn’t mean to be ____phobic” because it doesn’t matter. They did something offensive and they need to own up to it and change their wording and think hard about how they view gay people to have even thought these things in the first place.
And I know what spurred this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but this issue is and this wording and phrasing needs to stop. I thankfully don’t see it around as much, but it still goes on, obviously. When I google pansexual some of the first results are “hearts not parts” graphics. And look, there’s some more biphobia and transphobia right next to it!
Every time you imply pan is the only orientation capable of truly loving their partner and see past their gender you’re hurting young questioning gay kids.
Please, I’m begging you all, especially my followers who are pan, do not let these phrases continue. Do not them continue to be the norm to describe pansexuality. Please stop it wherever you see it.
like not to be a wuhluhwuh but when are we gonna stop infighting and turn our attention against the common enemy uniting us, which is men who say things like “can I watch?”
if the stone butch blues movie really does get approved and starts being made and it gets announced, you guys better throw a fit and loudly argue against it. the author of stone butch blues did not want a movie adaptation for multiple very good reasons and now that they are dead hollywood decides to steal this book about butch lesbians and turn it into a story for trans men. it is erasure and it is evil.
Cishet feminists will literally call the dumbest movies progressive lmao. The bechdel test is about how lesbians are alienated by media and a movie isn’t good for forcing the single woman lead to run in heels.
everyone on this site’s obsession with being “‘valid”’ is what leads to dumbass hot takes like ‘let women date men’ and ‘let boys be rough’ and I am here to say….drop that shit!!!! its so pathetic!!!
Lesbian On Main 