people always talk about the extreme no homo mentality in guys sports teams but donāt talk about the severe lesphobia in girls sports teams. growing up playing team sports really fucked me up as a kid. straight girls iāve played with were always scared of being perceived as gay for being athletic and because of the stereotypes of lesbians in certain sports. this was universal in the 3 sports i played: volleyball, softball, and basketball.Ā
there were always strict unwritten rules about how you presented yourself while playing. for instance the ribbon in the hair for softball and a bow in your ponytail for volleyball. if you didnāt prove your femininity while playing you were a lesbian. there was so much effort in not being seen as a lesbian and proving that you /werenāt/ a lesbian was really important.Ā
girls would always talk shit about girls with short hair on opposing teams.Ā āweāre playing the team with the d*keā was something i heard often as a kid. something i still heard in high school. being a lesbian in girls sports teams is predominantly what made me feel trapped in the closet in high school. I only felt comfortable coming out after i quit sports altogether
so if we could stop acting like straight girls have less of a stake in homophobia thatād be greatĀ
i know this is a controvershell opinion because yāall really take slur reclaimation seriously on this site lol but thereās a reason why lesbians arenāt comfortable with bi/pan women claiming dyke. the word will always be associated with lesbianism. dyke is not just a slur directed at women who love women; it attacks women based on how their sexuality relates to men. since men are not acknowledged by lesbians the word dyke is used against us to highlight that we āhate menā and not because we love women. since we live in a male centered universe, sexuality is always gonna be defined by the role of men. and that concept applies to derogatory language. anyways, dyke itself has become its own lesbian term. lesbians may often identify simply as dyke to reaffirm how disconnected they are from men. so in a way calling yourself a dyke means you are also recognizing yourself as a lesbian. but if you arenāt a lesbian why would you want to identify with a term that associates you with lesbians? thereās no point being secure in your sexuality everyday but also calling yourself a term that would erase it. you canāt have it both ways. so itās like do you want to claim dyke because you see yourself as a lesbian? or is it because you just want access to a slur since you feel entitled to it? and thatās why lesbians might often feel some type of way about this shit. and i know thereās some concern that not being able to say dyke somehow aligns you with straight people but thatās definitely not the case
uh as a pan person who has been called ādykeā many many times because of my attraction to women i donāt think itās fair of you to be saying itās a lesbian only term and only lesbians can use it considering that many pan/bi people are called dyke
its actually incredibly bold of you to assume that only lesbians are called that therefore they are the only ones allowed to reclaim it and that straight people actually care about the difference between gay/bi/pan women when throwing slurs around
why do you think itās ok to tell bi/pan women that theyāre not allowed to reclaim a slur that is used against them on a regular basis??
itās not a matter of who gets calledĀ the slur itās a matter of what the slur means
dyke means lesbian. when a bi/pan woman gets called a dyke they are being called a lesbian, as an insult. reclaiming the word dyke changes it from an insult to a badge of pride. how is a bi/pan woman going to wear lesbianism as a badge of pride?
This year, on the 31 March, we lost Gilbert Baker, gay artist and creator of the gay pride flag. Today we would celebrate his 66th birthday. Letās remember him as the wonderful person he was.